Do You Know How To Get the Girl?

Epstein/Foxx Mating Inventory for Men (EFMI-m), © 2007-2022, Dr. Robert Epstein  v. 1.2

You are about to take the unabridged version of the Epstein/Foxx Mating Inventory for Men (EFMI-m). This scientifically-validated test is an inventory of eight types of skills that help people meet, attract, and date potential mates. It focuses on the skills needed in the very early stages of meeting and dating: approaching a potential mate, generating intrigue and trust, getting a phone number, and scheduling the first few dates.

Most people are able to complete the test in less than ten minutes, and there are no right or wrong answers. Just select the response that seems best. After you answer the questions, you'll be given a detailed report that will give you your scores and explain what they mean. This is just the start; once you know your EFMI scores, there are many avenues you might pursue to improve your dating skills, such as workshops, videos, and books.

If you are conducting research and would like to collect raw data for a group that is taking this test - for a business, research study, classroom activity, or other purpose - please see our Group Testing Instructions

Before we get to the inventory itself, we'll ask you a few basic questions about yourself. Demographic information is being collected for research purposes only and will be kept strictly confidential.

To make sure the scoring is accurate, be sure to fill in all the blanks!

*Required response

Group code (if applicable):

*First name or initials:

*Your age: -Select- 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 or over

*How fluent are you in English?
Not very fluent   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  Highly fluent

*Highest Degree: None High school Community college Bachelors Masters Doctorate

*Race/Ethnicity: White Black Hispanic Asian American Indian Other

*Gender: Male Female Other

*Currently, how easy it for you to meet women?
Very easy   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  Very difficult

*Generally speaking, how much success have you had in dating?
None at all   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  Great success

*Generally speaking, how much success have you had in your romantic relationships?
None at all   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  Great success

*Have you ever been married?
No  Yes

*Have you ever been divorced?
No  Yes

*Have you had any training intended to boost your dating skills?
No  Yes

If so, approximately how many hours of training have you had?


Where did you receive this training?


Okay, here is the test itself....

For each of the following questions, select the answer that best applies to you.


*1. I always keep wine or champagne in the fridge.
Agree             Disagree


*2. When with a potential mate, I am often looking for little things she can do to help me.
Agree             Disagree


*3. Even if my potential mate hasn't responded to my initial messages, I might continue to leave playful and intriguing messages.
Agree             Disagree


*4. I approach a woman I'm interested in even if I don't know what to say.
Agree             Disagree


*5. I am comfortable talking about sexual matters with a potential mate.
Agree             Disagree


*6. I always carry mints or other items to keep my breath fresh.
Agree             Disagree


*7. When I leave a message for a potential mate, I try to create intrigue (for example, by saying I have a great idea for us without providing details).
Agree             Disagree


*8. I always try to schedule my dates close to where I live.
Agree             Disagree


*9. I often try to identify and remove sources of stress in my life.
Agree             Disagree


*10. I keep pictures of family and loved ones in plain sight in my home.
Agree             Disagree


*11. When with a potential mate, I sometimes encourage her to drink alcohol to help her relax.
Agree             Disagree


*12. When with a potential mate, I always look for things we genuinely have in common.
Agree             Disagree


*13. I always keep my living space clean and ready for company.
Agree             Disagree


*14. When proposing a date with a potential mate, I try to take her special talents or interests into account.
Agree             Disagree


*15. I never hesitate to ask a potential mate for her phone number.
Agree             Disagree


*16. I often call my potential mate right around bed time when she's relaxed and getting ready to dream.
Agree             Disagree


*17. When my potential mate cancels a date, I reply calmly and casually.
Agree             Disagree


*18. When conversing with a potential mate, I'm careful not to stare at other women.
Agree             Disagree


*19. My bathroom at home is immaculate.
Agree             Disagree


*20. I take extra care to keep myself clean (for example, by using a loofah sponge or baby wipes).
Agree             Disagree


*21. To make a beautiful woman seem less intimidating, I sometimes visualize her in an amusing or unattractive way.
Agree             Disagree


*22. When with a potential mate, I'm always first to end a kiss, an embrace, or holding hands.
Agree             Disagree


*23. I always make good eye contact when I first meet a potential mate.
Agree             Disagree


*24. When with a potential mate, I'm willing to talk openly about some deeply personal issues.
Agree             Disagree


*25. As a sign of respect for her earning capacity, I often look for ways to get my potential mate to share our expenses.
Agree             Disagree


*26. When inviting a potential mate to visit my home, I always try to do so in an intriguing and non-threatening way.
Agree             Disagree


*27. When I first meet a potential mate, I'm careful not to slouch.
Agree             Disagree


*28. I make extra sure that I smell sexy and attractive when women are around.
Agree             Disagree


*29. I sometimes create intrigue with a potential mate by offering guesses about her character or past.
Agree             Disagree


*30. Before I first call my potential mate, I make sure I'm in a great mood.
Agree             Disagree


*31. When with a potential mate, I sometimes redirect the conversation if I feel it's creating distance between us.
Agree             Disagree


*32. I am constantly looking for ways to touch a woman that seem natural and innocent.
Agree             Disagree


*33. When a meeting or date with a potential mate is ending, I almost never schedule our next meeting.
Agree             Disagree


*34. When first getting on the phone with my potential mate, I sometimes tell her that my time is limited.
Agree             Disagree


*35. When with a potential mate, I sometimes try to use humor to diffuse tension.
Agree             Disagree


*36. I sometimes liven up a conversation by telling a funny story or joke.
Agree             Disagree


*37. When with a potential mate, I try to compliment her in ways she might not have heard before..
Agree             Disagree


*38. I always keep incense and candles in my home to help create a romantic atmosphere.
Agree             Disagree


*39. I keep chocolate, strawberries, and similar snacks in my home, ready for special guests.
Agree             Disagree


*40. When with a potential mate, I always look for opportunities to include subtle sexual innuendos in my language.
Agree             Disagree


*41. When returning a phone call from my potential mate, I try not to do so too promptly.
Agree             Disagree


*42. I keep items at home to make sure that sex is safe and fun.
Agree             Disagree


*43. I shower every day.
Agree             Disagree


*44. I often leave short, intriguing messages for my potential mate that don't require a reply.
Agree             Disagree


*45. I frequently visualize soothing scenes in order to relax.
Agree             Disagree


*46. I shave, wax, or trim body hair to stay neat and attractive.
Agree             Disagree


*47. I approach a woman I'm interested in even if at first I hesitated and delayed.
Agree             Disagree


*48. I frequently use special breathing techniques to help me relax.
Agree             Disagree


*49. I seek out friends who are successful with women.
Agree             Disagree


*50. I regularly examine and try to correct any irrational beliefs I might have.
Agree             Disagree


*51. I often use things my potential mate is saying as springboards to talk about related things that might be fun or interesting.
Agree             Disagree


*52. I have plush comfortable furniture with room for two or more.
Agree             Disagree


*53. I look at my failures with women as learning experiences.
Agree             Disagree


*54. When with a potential mate, I'm careful not to express my interest in her too frequently.
Agree             Disagree


*55. I exercise regularly.
Agree             Disagree


*56. I often check out what other guys are wearing to see if I can improve my look.
Agree             Disagree


*57. When seeking a date with a potential mate, I sometimes suggest that she join me in a fun activity I'm already going to do.
Agree             Disagree


*58. I always smile when I first meet a potential mate.
Agree             Disagree


*59. My vehicle is well maintained, and I keep it clean.
Agree             Disagree


*60. When with a potential mate, I often comment specifically on what she has just said to show I'm listening carefully.
Agree             Disagree


*61. I practice good oral hygiene (for example, by frequently brushing, flossing, or using mouthwash).
Agree             Disagree


*62. When with a potential mate, I look for opportunities to role play imaginary relationships with her.
Agree             Disagree


*63. When with a potential mate, I often encourage her to talk about deeply personal things.
Agree             Disagree


*64. My movements tend to be slow and deliberate when I am around a potential mate.
Agree             Disagree


*65. When I see a potential mate, I almost always approach her.
Agree             Disagree


*66. I never leave the house without looking my best.
Agree             Disagree


*67. When I first meet a potential mate, I speak in a clear and measured way to make sure I can be understood.
Agree             Disagree


*68. I regularly practice meditation, yoga, or similar techniques to help me stay relaxed.
Agree             Disagree


*69. When a potential mate turns her attention to another man, I know how to manage my thinking so I don't feel jealous.
Agree             Disagree


*70. I set aside time daily to relax and take a break from my obligations.
Agree             Disagree


*71. When with a potential mate, I actively try to find out if she possesses certain qualities that are important to me.
Agree             Disagree


*72. When talking on the phone with my potential mate, I make a point of ending the phone call before she does.
Agree             Disagree


*73. When with an attractive woman, I sometimes drink alcohol to help me relax.
Agree             Disagree


*74. When I've arranged a meeting with my potential mate, I always try to arrive a little later than she does.
Agree             Disagree


*75. I know some opening "lines" to help me initiate conversation with a potential mate when I can't think of anything original.
Agree             Disagree


*76. I am always looking for opportunities to move physically closer to a potential mate.
Agree             Disagree


*77. When with a potential mate, I sometimes make fun of her in a gentle and playful way.
Agree             Disagree


*78. I always keep a good selection of music in my car and home to help create a romantic atmosphere.
Agree             Disagree


*79. I'll sometimes plan a date or activity without the consent or approval of my potential mate.
Agree             Disagree


*80. When with a potential mate, I try to learn about her hopes and dreams.
Agree             Disagree